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	<title>Individual Counseling Archives - Turnabout Counseling</title>
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	<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/category/individual-counseling/</link>
	<description>Counseling for Grand Rapids, Michigan</description>
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		<title>Sense of Purpose: Importance of Being Needed.</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/depression/sense-of-purpose-need-to-be-needed/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Oct 2024 18:30:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Identity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Teenagers]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=761</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I listened to a podcast this morning about being needed. It described how people who don’t feel useful often get depressed. This can even lead to suicide or early death for some.  For example, when men retire and don’t have enough to do, they often lose their sense of purpose. Their health sometimes suffers as [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/depression/sense-of-purpose-need-to-be-needed/">Sense of Purpose: Importance of Being Needed.</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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<p></p>



<p>I listened to a podcast this morning about being needed. It described how people who don’t feel useful often get <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">depressed</a>.  This can even lead to suicide or early death for some.  For example, when men retire and don’t have enough to do, they often lose their sense of purpose.  Their health  sometimes suffers as a result.  For some people, if they don’t feel they matter to someone, they wonder “would anyone even notice if I wasn’t around anymore?”.  </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Where Else Does It Apply?</h2>



<p>I had a conversation with a highschool coach about handling kids that would normally sit the bench during most games.  My opinion is it&#8217;s better to cut a player than put them on the team and not let them play in games.  I’ve seen kids lose their passion for the game when this happens faster than if they were cut.  He agreed.  When he coaches, he looks at what each kid is skilled at, even if small compared to other players.  This coach finds a way to bring out that skill in players and consider when he’s going to need it during a game.  He would make a point to help the player develop their particular skill and  put them in when it was needed.  This helps the player  have a sense of purpose.  And  it helps the team overall.  It also helps build team cohesion.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Need for Purpose and Parenting</h2>



<p>All this made me wonder if parents could do the same thing with kids.  What if we make each kid aware they serve a useful purpose within the family so they feel needed.  This could  be something like certain chores, taking care of pets, babysitting, running errands, and so on.</p>



<p></p>



<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mi/grand-rapids/178001?sid=5f09d401b8b18&amp;ref=14&amp;rec_next=121&amp;tr=ResultsName"><em>Gary Watson</em></a><em> </em>provides<em> Solution Focused Therapist in </em><a href="https://www.experiencegr.com"><em>Grand Rapids Michigan</em></a><em> and </em><a href="http://adamichigan.org/township"><em>Ada, Michigan</em></a><em>.  He counsels couples,  teenagers, and adults.  He can help with anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, relationship problems, and more.  For more information, please visit the website at </em><a href="http://www.turnaboutcounseling.com"><em>www.turnaboutcounseling.com</em></a><em>.</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/depression/sense-of-purpose-need-to-be-needed/">Sense of Purpose: Importance of Being Needed.</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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		<title>Do Dreams have Meaning?</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/anxiety/do-dreams-have-meaning/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Jul 2024 03:26:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dream analysis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dreams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Meaning of dreams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nightmares]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=715</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Is there some significance to our dreams?  Actually, yes.  However, from my experience dreams are not about wish fulfillment as Freud postulated.  Our dreams represent an unconscious attempt to work on concerns we are having at the present time.  One of my clients has been having nightmares lately after a stressful life event. The fact [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/anxiety/do-dreams-have-meaning/">Do Dreams have Meaning?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="683" src="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pexels-olly-3771069-1024x683.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-716" srcset="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pexels-olly-3771069-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pexels-olly-3771069-300x200.jpg 300w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pexels-olly-3771069-768x512.jpg 768w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pexels-olly-3771069-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pexels-olly-3771069-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pexels-olly-3771069-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pexels-olly-3771069-1980x1320.jpg 1980w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>



<p>Is there some significance to our dreams?  Actually, yes.  However, from my experience dreams are not about wish fulfillment as Freud postulated.  Our dreams represent an unconscious attempt to work on concerns we are having at the present time.  </p>



<p>One of my clients has been having nightmares lately after a stressful life event.  The fact that he kept having nightmares with the same themes was becoming distressing on its own.  We decided to try to do some dream analysis to try to understand what the dream was really about so he could put it aside and stop stressing about it.  Doing this work made me want to write an article about it, so here goes.</p>



<h4 class="wp-block-heading">Why Do We Dream?</h4>



<p>When we are stressed, our brains tend to work on the problem even during sleep.  Sometimes we will dream about something rather ordinary that doesn’t have any big meaning other than representing our mind continuing to think about an event that happened.  Other times, and especially if we have a dream that repeats, such as a nightmare, it is our brain’s way of processing an event to make sense of something that happened.  Quite often, when the issue is resolved in real life, the dream goes away as well.</p>



<h4 class="wp-block-heading">What Do Dreams Mean?</h4>



<p>Much of our dream content is symbolic so if you want to understand the meaning of your dream, think about the imagery in the dream&#8211; objects, colors, places, people and figures in the dream often represent specific things that have unique meaning to us.   Sometimes the symbolism can be from something we are not even consciously aware of.  For example, when I was a child, my parents had been arguing a lot and it was very distressing for me.  I had a nightmare where I was surrounded by hundreds of scorpions and crabs.  I later learned that the crab and scorpion were my parents&#8217; astrological signs, but I couldn’t have told you what their signs were if you had asked me at that time of the dream.  Somehow, I knew this information unconsciously.</p>



<p>Quite often our dreams include shadowy figures who seem faceless, sometimes it could seem like a monster of some sort, chasing us.  Often, these figures don’t represent a specific person, but perhaps a situation we are dealing with at the time.  When we dream about specific people, the dream isn’t necessarily about that person but what they represent to us in our life.  For example, dreaming about your ex boyfriend may not be about them specifically, it may represent relationships in general and something you’re trying to understand about them.</p>



<h4 class="wp-block-heading">What Can I Do with Dreams?</h4>



<p>I’ve had clients who have nightmares (sometimes called anxiety dreams) that have the same theme to them, but often the content is quite similar from one dream to the next.  Although I’m no expert on dream analysis (are there any experts on this?), it can be useful to talk about the dream and do a little free association about the various things represented in the dream.  For example, one woman’s dream included a horse that was being neglected in a pasture.  She loved horses in real life.  When asked what color the horse was, it was brown.  This woman had long brown hair.  She came to realize the horse represented herself and that she was feeling abandoned or neglected in real life.  </p>



<p>Another person had a dream when they were a child  that they were in a small rowboat in the middle of the ocean, on a stormy night.  Their mother was in the boat but they were the one doing the rowing.  In the dream, they stopped the boat and had to get out a huge ship’s anchor and throw it overboard while their mother sat in the back of the boat silently and not doing anything.  The dream went on but there was a lot of symbolism in the dream.  We talked about the possible representation of being on the ocean. Why was the child rowing and not the mother? What did the mother represent? Why was the anchor so large and what was the meaning of the child having to lift the anchor by themselves?  Lots of things to unpack in that dream.</p>



<p>Sometimes, there is action or inaction in our dreams.  We are running away from something, falling, flying, sinking, etc.  We’ve all had dreams about finding ourselves in class and then remember it’s final exam day and we forgot to study for it.  These dreams can represent a feeling of powerlessness we are feeling about a current situation.</p>



<h4 class="wp-block-heading">How Do I Analyze My Dream Content?</h4>



<p>One useful thing that can come from dreams is they can highlight something we’ve been struggling with in real life.  When we realize something has been weighing on us so heavily that we even dream about it, we can pay more attention to it in our waking hours.  For example, maybe you keep having a dream about running away from monsters but your feet are like cement. It may be you’re feeling overwhelmed about a situation and feeling you have little power to change things.  You might start to realize there is more you can do about it than you at first thought.</p>



<p>One problem with dreams is that they often fade from conscious thought rapidly once we wake up.  Keep a journal next to your bed. Write down as many details as you can when you first wake up.  The more you write, you’ll  remember other details from the dream.  Take each significant item from the dream and write down what thoughts come to mind when you think about it.  </p>



<p>For example, dreaming about a bee scaring you might make you think about the bright colors red and yellow.  Thinking about those colors might make you think of caution signs that are always those same bright colors.  You might decide the bee was meant to bring your attention to what was happening in the dream at that moment.  Dreaming about your childhood home could call to mind happier times, or perhaps stressful times, maybe something else.</p>



<p>Usually, when you hit on the correct meaning of dream items, you’ll experience a kind of “eureka” moment.  If you do this enough, you may get some meaning that is useful to apply to your real life.</p>



<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mi/grand-rapids/178001?sid=5f09d401b8b18&amp;ref=14&amp;rec_next=121&amp;tr=ResultsName"><em>Gary Watson</em></a><em> is a Solution Focused Therapist in </em><a href="https://www.experiencegr.com"><em>Grand Rapids Michigan</em></a><em> and </em><a href="http://adamichigan.org/township"><em>Ada, Michigan</em></a><em>.  He provides counseling for couples, counseling for teenagers, and adults.  He can help with anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, relationship problems, and more.  For more information, please visit the website at </em><a href="http://www.turnaboutcounseling.com"><em>www.turnaboutcounseling.com</em></a><em>.</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/anxiety/do-dreams-have-meaning/">Do Dreams have Meaning?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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		<title>Start a New Habit by Changing Your Environment</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/good-habits/start-a-new-habit-by-changing-your-environment/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 24 Jan 2022 03:43:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[building self-esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good habits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[changebehaviors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counseilngnearme]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counselinggrandrapids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exercisehabits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goodhabits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthyeating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthyhabits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newyear&#039;sresolutons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resolutions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[therapygrandrapids]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=604</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Many of us try to start a new habit for New&#8217;s Year&#8217;s resolutions. We resolve to exercise more, eat right, lose weight, and so on. Right about now is when most people abandon them. I&#8217;m probably one of the only successful people who have kept their resolution for years. About 25 years ago I made [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/good-habits/start-a-new-habit-by-changing-your-environment/">Start a New Habit by Changing Your Environment</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img decoding="async" src="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/pexels-breakingpic-3237-1024x683.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-605" width="540" height="360" srcset="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/pexels-breakingpic-3237-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/pexels-breakingpic-3237-300x200.jpg 300w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/pexels-breakingpic-3237-768x512.jpg 768w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/pexels-breakingpic-3237-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/pexels-breakingpic-3237-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/pexels-breakingpic-3237.jpg 1600w" sizes="(max-width: 540px) 100vw, 540px" /><figcaption>Grand Rapids Counseling</figcaption></figure></div>



<p>Many of us try to start a new habit for New&#8217;s Year&#8217;s resolutions.  We resolve to exercise more, eat right, lose weight, and so on.  Right about now is when most people abandon them.  I&#8217;m probably one of the only successful people who have kept their resolution for years.  About 25 years ago I made a New Year&#8217;s resolution to never bother making a New Year&#8217;s Resolution again.  I&#8217;m happy to say I&#8217;ve kept it ever since. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Why Wait Until the New Year?</h2>



<p>For me, starting a new habit at the beginning of the year puts a lot of pressure on one day.  After all, every day can be the start of a new year so why cram it into just day out of 365?  There is some research that supports the idea that if you want to start a new habit, or behavior, you need a cue, or a prompt to do the behavior.  </p>



<p>While I don&#8217;t make New Year&#8217;s resolutions anymore, that doesn&#8217;t mean I don&#8217;t set goals to have better habits.  So for me, one of the more recent habits I&#8217;ve started is drinking more water.  Overall, water is better for me than the fruit juice I often drink and has fewer calories.  I did the math and realized switching from juice to water saves me somewhere between 400 to 600 calories a day.  Also, if I drink water more regularly, I&#8217;m likely to snack less because I&#8217;m not as hungry throughout the day.  So what does having a cue or prompt have to do with drinking water?  I&#8217;ll tell you.</p>



<p>In order to drink more water, I had to create a prompt to drink it.  The first thing I did was pick up a clear glass pitcher, fill it with water, and put it in the refrigerator on the top shelf.  Every time I open to fridge to get a drink of juice (because I&#8217;m thirsty), there&#8217;s the water staring me right in the face to remind me to drink it instead of the juice.  However, I noticed I was still going too long without drinking water.  Being dehydrated tends to make me lethargic, so I wanted to create a prompt to drink water more often.  </p>



<p>My solution was simple.  I started putting an empty glass on the kitchen counter where I have to look at it every time I walk into the kitchen.  I see it and think, &#8220;what is that glass sitting there for?&#8221;.  Then it dawns on me, &#8220;oh yeah, I&#8217;m trying to drink more water&#8221;.  So I fill the glass and drink it down.  </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Here&#8217;s Another Idea</h2>



<p>I do something similar with  laundry.  I want to start a new habit where I actually put my laundry away before it gets wrinkled.  So, I started putting the laundry basket with the clean clothes on my bed.  I made a game of sorts where every time I walk into the bedroom I have to put at least one thing away or hang it up.  Once I grab one item I&#8217;m more than likely going to take care of two or three items.  It&#8217;s not long before all the laundry is put away where it belongs.</p>



<p>In my Grand Rapids based counseling practice, I not only help you figure out what changes you want to make, I also help you figure out steps to make it happen.  My primary focus is using <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/marriage-counseling/">Solution Focused Brief Therapy</a>, but I like to supplement it with a behavioral approach.  Teaching you how we adopt new behaviors and make them stick improves your chances of making lasting positive changes.</p>



<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mi/grand-rapids/178001?sid=5f09d401b8b18&amp;ref=14&amp;rec_next=121&amp;tr=ResultsName"><em>Gary Watson</em></a><em> is a Solution Focused Therapist in </em><a href="https://www.experiencegr.com"><em>Grand Rapids Michigan</em></a><em>.  He provides counseling for couples, teenagers, and adults.  He can help with anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, relationship problems, and more.  For more information, please visit the website at </em><a href="http://www.turnaboutcounseling.com"><em>www.turnaboutcounseling.com</em></a><em>.</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/good-habits/start-a-new-habit-by-changing-your-environment/">Start a New Habit by Changing Your Environment</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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		<title>Big Changes Start Small:  The Scaling Question</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/good-habits/big-changes-start-small-the-scaling-question/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Oct 2021 15:06:14 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[building self-esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good habits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[buildinggoodhabits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[changeyourlife]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gamechangers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goodhabits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthybehavior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthyhabits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newyearsresolutions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positivebehaviors]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=581</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Big changes start small. This is what I learned from behavioral theory. There is a lot of overlap between effective behavioral change and Solution Focused Brief Therapy.  Steve deShazer, co-creator of SFBT said he doesn’t know why SFBT works, he just knows it does.  After studying work about behaviorism and developing habits, I put together [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/good-habits/big-changes-start-small-the-scaling-question/">Big Changes Start Small:  The Scaling Question</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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<p>Big changes start small.  This is what I learned from behavioral theory.  There is a lot of overlap between effective behavioral change and Solution Focused Brief Therapy.  Steve deShazer, co-creator of SFBT said he doesn’t know why SFBT works, he just knows it does.  After studying work about behaviorism and developing habits, I put together some of the reasoning behind why it works.  </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Scaling Questions to Help Think Small</h2>



<p>One of the things we do in <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">SFBT</a> is use scaling questions.  We ask a client where they would rate their current progress from one to ten, with ten being the best.  Then we look at what you&#8217;re doing right that lets it be that number instead of a lower number.  Next we will look at what a half number higher will look like.  Sometimes I even ask for a smaller increase in the number, say one quarter higher because big changes start small.  What we’re asking clients to do is think about small but noticeable changes they can make.  These changes should be really easy to perform and implement. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Small Changes Are Easier to Keep Going</h2>



<p> Making one small change not only makes a difference, it’s also easy to keep doing.  This is what behaviorism has taught me.  Changes have to be small and easy for us to keep them going.  When the changes are too big, you can do it for a short time, but soon get burned out by taking on too much at once.</p>



<p>Behaviorists sometimes talk about one percent changes.&nbsp; They recommend looking for ways to start with 1% improvement of the behavior at first.&nbsp; If you improve by 1% every week, then in two months you’ve improved by 8%.&nbsp; In a year, you’ve improved by 52%.&nbsp; This is good improvement compared to changing by, say, 50% in a week, and then quitting whatever you’re trying to improve because you burned yourself out. &nbsp;</p>



<p>So when I use the scale, I ask you to talk about what a 1 or 2% change in behavior will look like for you.  I want you to start small on purpose so you have success but aren’t overwhelmed by trying to do too much too soon.</p>



<p></p>



<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mi/grand-rapids/178001?sid=5f09d401b8b18&amp;ref=14&amp;rec_next=121&amp;tr=ResultsName"><em>Gary Watson</em></a><em> is a Solution Focused Therapist in </em><a href="https://www.experiencegr.com"><em>Grand Rapids Michigan</em></a><em>.  He provides counseling for couples, teenagers, and adults.  He can help with anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, relationship problems, and more.  For more information, please visit the website at </em><a href="http://www.turnaboutcounseling.com"><em>www.turnaboutcounseling.com</em></a><em>.</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/good-habits/big-changes-start-small-the-scaling-question/">Big Changes Start Small:  The Scaling Question</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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		<title>Realtors Should Know Therapists: 4 Reasons Why</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/uncategorized/realtors-should-know-therapists-4-reasons-why/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Apr 2021 00:48:56 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counselingfordivorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counselingkidsthroughdivorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorceandrealestate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorceandrealtors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[realtors]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=475</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>A big reason many people sell and buy houses is divorce.  This can be beneficial if you’re a realtor, but you’re dealing with clients in distress.  People going through divorce are going through a lot of stress and emotional upheaval, especially when children are involved.  There are good reasons why realtors should know therapists to [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/uncategorized/realtors-should-know-therapists-4-reasons-why/">Realtors Should Know Therapists: 4 Reasons Why</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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<p>A big reason many people sell and buy houses is divorce.  This can be beneficial if you’re a realtor, but you’re dealing with clients in distress.  People going through divorce are going through a lot of stress and emotional upheaval, especially when children are involved.  There are good reasons why realtors should know therapists to refer clients to</p>



<p>Having to sell your house due to the breakup of your family often brings grief and depression.&nbsp; Couples buy their house believing it’s the home they’ll raise their kids in and grow old in together.&nbsp; When they have to leave this home and move into something smaller and cheaper, they can feel angry, hurt, and worried about the future.&nbsp; The problem for realtors can be spending too much time providing informal counseling to these clients.&nbsp; Sometimes, you become the primary support for their emotional needs which can use up your available time to help other clients, or even your own family. &nbsp;</p>



<p>As a realtor, you may be okay with this, but some realtors are uncomfortable with all the emotions and find these clients draining of both time and energy.  You may find yourself fielding multiple calls a week with these clients, listening to them vent about personal problems.  These calls are more about their personal problems than real estate concerns.  While you want to be sympathetic, you’re not in the business of helping with their family or relationship needs; you’re there to help them sell or buy a house. A therapist will have specific training and experience in <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/individual-counseling/">counseling</a> your clients through these difficult times.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Reason #1 Realtors Should Know Therapists</h3>



<p>For this reason, it’s a good idea to know some therapists you can refer clients to when they have trouble separating your role as realtor from that of a therapist.  If you know a therapist who does good counseling, you can say something like, “You know, it seems like the divorce and the aftermath are really taking a toll on you,  I know a good therapist who works with divorce cases and he may be able to help you get through this better than me.  Let me give you his card”.  It helps if you know the therapist from your networking groups, or if you’ve at least met them for coffee a few times.  This way, you can describe their personalities and how they work with clients.  You wouldn’t want to refer your clients to a therapist you don’t know much about.  </p>



<p>You may also want to give clients names of several therapists to choose from.  Knowing a few therapists who work with children and teenagers is also helpful since many of your divorcing clients are worried about their children’s mental health and coping during divorce.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Reason #2 Realtors Should Know Therapists</h3>



<p>A second reason to get to know some therapists in your area is so therapists can refer to you when they know their clients are going to sell or buy a house.  As a therapist, I often refer clients to doctors, attorneys, and other service providers.  I try to refer to people I know will treat them well because I don’t want to add to their stress levels by going through a bad experience.   For example, when I know someone is going to file for divorce, I try to refer them to attorneys who will keep the best interests of the kids and family in mind, rather than those that may want the client to “get all they can get from their spouse”.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Reason #3 Realtors Should Know Therapists</h3>



<p>A third reason to have therapists in your contact list is that therapists also have to buy and sell their own homes and find office space.   We do a lot of networking amongst ourselves.  We often work together in group practices, go to conferences and trainings together, and refer clients to each other.  Therapists talk on Facebook groups and try to stay connected with doctors and lawyers for referral reasons.  We often ask each other for recommendations for professional reasources, but personal ones as well.  These connections can be useful to realtors who want to get good word of mouth referrals.</p>



<p>  The number of therapists in Grand Rapids has more than doubled in the past 8 years.  As new therapists hang out their shingles, they need office space to rent.  As a therapist grows their business and hires more therapists to work under them, they need to move into larger office spaces.  They may even branch out to several other locations within their local area, meaning the need to buy or lease additional space.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">And Finally Reason #4</h3>



<p>A fourth reason to know a therapist is for your personal and professional growth.&nbsp; As a professional, you may want to work with a therapist to&nbsp; maintain your sense of work/life balance, to cope with the stress of building your business, or you may want to consult about ways to manage employee situations or conflict in the workplace.&nbsp; You may just want someone to bounce ideas off to gain clarity about what your professional goals are and how you want to proceed with your career.</p>



<p>These are the four solid reasons for getting to know a therapist in your area.  If you want to start learning more about local therapists, a good place to start is the <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com">Psychology Today</a> website.  Most therapists have a profile listing on Psychology Today and you can do a search by your city.  You’ll find lots of basic information about the therapist and their practice and usually a link to their website.  When I meet a therapist, I usually want to know how they work, and ask them to explain how they generally take a client from point A to point B.  They should be able to explain this is a way that makes sense to you.  If it doesn’t make sense to you, it won’t make sense to your client either. </p>



<p> I would also want to know what kind of clients or situations they most like to work with so I can keep them in mind when those clients come up.  And of course, I would want to know what their rates are and if they take insurance.</p>



<p>For more information about Gary Watson and his practice, visit his website at <a href="http://www.turnaboutcounseling.com">www.turnaboutcounseling.com</a>.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/uncategorized/realtors-should-know-therapists-4-reasons-why/">Realtors Should Know Therapists: 4 Reasons Why</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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		<title>Getting Respect From Others</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/building-self-esteem/getting-respect-from-others/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Apr 2021 21:04:09 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[building self-esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dealingwithattitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fixingattitudeproblems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthyboundaries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationshipcounseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[respect]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[respectfromcoworkers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[respectfromothers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[selfconfidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[selfesteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[selfestteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[selfrespect]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[settingboundaries]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=469</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Getting Respect from others is something everybody strives for.&#160; We want to be respected for what we bring to the table. Or we at least want to be treated with respect and courtesy.&#160; You have to give in order to receive, but what do you do if you don’t get respect in return. People Engage [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/building-self-esteem/getting-respect-from-others/">Getting Respect From Others</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>Getting Respect from others is something everybody strives for.&nbsp; We want to be respected for what we bring to the table. Or we at least want to be treated with respect and courtesy.&nbsp; You have to give in order to receive, but what do you do if you don’t get respect in return.</p>



<p><strong>People Engage in Behavior that Works</strong></p>



<p>In my <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/individual-counseling/">Grand Rapids counseling</a> practice, I work with people who are&nbsp;frustrated with not being treated with respect.&nbsp; This could be a mother being disrespected by their teenage son, a husband who is being treated poorly by his wife, or someone who is being steamrolled by a boss or coworker.</p>



<p>One of the things we do is start with learning how to say “No” effectively and mean it.&nbsp; This may mean strengthening your self-esteem and practicing specific ways to say “no” to people that fit your personality.&nbsp; It often means learning how to effectively establish boundaries with people. &nbsp;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Why People Treat You with Disrespect</h3>



<p>For the most part, we all perform behaviors repeatedly because those behaviors work for us.&nbsp; When our behaviors get us something we want, we will repeat the behavior.&nbsp; In fact, it would be silly not to repeat a behavior that works for us.&nbsp; So, if I have learned that taking advantage of your kindness gets you to do something for me, I will keep doing it.&nbsp; It is only when that doesn’t work that I will do something else. &nbsp;</p>



<p>Let’s say your teenage son learns he can ignore your threats to punish him for being disrespectful because nothing actually happens. He still gets to do the thing he wanted with no consequences.&nbsp; He will continue to get comfortable doing this and do it more often.&nbsp; So, create a reasonable negative consequence for this behavior that you apply consistently.  He will learn that his behavior no longer gets him what he wants and will learn to adapt his behavior.</p>



<p>Here’s another example, let’s say your significant other belittles you when you are with friends.&nbsp; They may be getting laughs from others or feel superior while doing this.  But this only works if you stay around to be belittled.&nbsp; If you end the conversation or leave when they start belittling you, they learn that if they want you to stick around they have to at least not treat you with disrespect.&nbsp; For example,&nbsp; I sometimes advise my adult clients to politely but firmly end conversations with their parent when they start being negative.&nbsp; When they do this consistently,  how quickly the parent learns to be more respectful in how they speak.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Taking Away the Benefits of Disrespect</h3>



<p>If you are dealing with someone who treats you with disrespect, think about what gains their behavior gets them.  See if you can change the outcome so that the disrespect does not work for them anymore.&nbsp; However, be aware not to be disrespectful yourself or they may benefit from pointing out how rude you are being. &nbsp;</p>



<p>If you&#8217;d like help getting others to treat you with respect, contact me to discuss how Solution Focused Therapy can help.</p>



<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mi/grand-rapids/178001?sid=5f09d401b8b18&amp;ref=14&amp;rec_next=121&amp;tr=ResultsName"><em>Gary Watson</em></a><em> is a Solution Focused Therapist in </em><a href="https://www.experiencegr.com"><em>Grand Rapids Michigan</em></a><em>.&nbsp; He provides counseling for couples, counseling for teenagers, and adults.&nbsp; He provides counseling for anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, and relationship problems.&nbsp; For more information, please visit the website at </em><a href="http://www.turnaboutcounseling.com"><em>www.turnaboutcounseling.com</em></a><em>.</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/building-self-esteem/getting-respect-from-others/">Getting Respect From Others</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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		<title>Children and Teenagers with Social Anxiety</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/anxiety/children-and-teenagers-with-social-anxiety/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Apr 2021 17:33:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[making friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Teenagers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxious child]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxious teenager]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child with anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counseling for teenager]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[making friends for teenager]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teenager anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teenagers]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=451</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Children and teenagers with social anxiety is a common occurrence.&#160; It often shows up in early adolescence where kids have difficulty making friends, making connections and developing a satisfactory social life.&#160; We generally describe these kids as shy but the problem can become more pervasive and problematic for many kids. Few things are more painful [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/anxiety/children-and-teenagers-with-social-anxiety/">Children and Teenagers with Social Anxiety</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large"><img decoding="async" width="1024" height="683" src="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-gabby-k-5200834-1024x683.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-453" srcset="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-gabby-k-5200834-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-gabby-k-5200834-300x200.jpg 300w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-gabby-k-5200834-768x512.jpg 768w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-gabby-k-5200834-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-gabby-k-5200834-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-gabby-k-5200834-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-gabby-k-5200834-1980x1320.jpg 1980w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure></div>



<p>Children and teenagers with social anxiety is a common occurrence.&nbsp; It often shows up in early adolescence where kids have difficulty making friends, making connections and developing a satisfactory social life.&nbsp; We generally describe these kids as shy but the problem can become more pervasive and problematic for many kids.  Few things are more painful for parents than seeing their children be left out and struggling to make friends.</p>



<p>Kids and teenagers with social anxiety often feel quite lonely, isolated, and&nbsp; sometimes ostracized.&nbsp; This can in turn lead to <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/individual-counseling/">depression</a> and hopelessness because these kids often feel alone.  This can make them feel like social “losers”.&nbsp; Your teenager may want to make friends but suffer in silence as they struggle to find ways to do this.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">What to Do:</h3>



<p>Kids with social anxiety have a lot to offer but have trouble developing confidence and tools to engage with others.&nbsp; These kids and teenagers often have great personalities with kindness, humor, and generosity as parts of their personalities.&nbsp; We often describe these kids as kind, intelligent, loyal, and caring. However, their introverted personalities make it difficult to “put the  mselves out there”.&nbsp; They often have intense internal conflicts as they struggle to think of things to say to initiate interactions.&nbsp; Then, they judge themselves harshly for not being able to think of anything. They may worry that peers are judging them harshly for their apparent social deficits.</p>



<p>Fortunately, counseling works wonders in helping kids learn to work within their strengths to develop self esteem and self confidence.  It can help them learn to initiate basic interactions that  make them more approachable to peers.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Solution Focused Counseling Can Help</h3>



<p>Solution Focused counseling is a good fit for teenagers with social anxiety because it helps you find small ways to start interactions.  And it keeps them within their comfort zones as they “stretch” themselves enough to begin the process. &nbsp;</p>



<p>If you’d like to learn more about how solution focused counseling can help your child, contact me for a free consult. &nbsp;</p>



<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mi/grand-rapids/178001?sid=5f09d401b8b18&amp;ref=14&amp;rec_next=121&amp;tr=ResultsName"><em>Gary Watson</em></a><em> is a Solution Focused Therapist in </em><a href="https://www.experiencegr.com"><em>Grand Rapids Michigan</em></a><em>.&nbsp; He provides counseling for couples, counseling for teenagers, and adults.&nbsp; He provides counseling for anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, and relationship problems.&nbsp; For more information, please visit the website at </em><a href="http://www.turnaboutcounseling.com"><em>www.turnaboutcounseling.com</em></a><em>.</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/anxiety/children-and-teenagers-with-social-anxiety/">Children and Teenagers with Social Anxiety</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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		<title>Managing Teenage Anxiety</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/anxiety/managing-teenage-anxiety/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Mar 2021 18:38:56 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[building self-esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dealing with anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dealing with teenage anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[help for anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teen with anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teenage anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[treatment for anxiety]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=443</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Does your child have teenage anxiety?&#160; If so, they are not alone.&#160; Even before COVID 19 happened to us, lots of kids had anxiety. &#160; How do you know if your child has anxiety?  There are a few signs that are common to teenage anxiety that I have seen in my counseling practice.  This can [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/anxiety/managing-teenage-anxiety/">Managing Teenage Anxiety</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>Does your child have teenage anxiety?&nbsp; If so, they are not alone.&nbsp; Even before COVID 19 happened to us, lots of kids had anxiety. &nbsp;</p>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4769486-1-683x1024.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-446" width="361" height="541" srcset="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4769486-1-683x1024.jpg 683w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4769486-1-200x300.jpg 200w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4769486-1-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4769486-1-1024x1536.jpg 1024w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4769486-1-1365x2048.jpg 1365w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4769486-1-1200x1800.jpg 1200w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4769486-1-1980x2970.jpg 1980w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-cottonbro-4769486-1-scaled.jpg 1707w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 361px) 100vw, 361px" /></figure></div>



<p>How do you know if your child has anxiety?  There are a few signs that are common to teenage anxiety that I have seen in my counseling practice.  This can vary by age.  Older teens can show anxiety,  or hide it better, than younger teens and children.  Some of the signs I see are avoiding speaking up in groups,  avoiding social situations such as sleep overs, avoiding interacting with authority figures such as coaches, teachers, or aunts and uncles they are less familiar with.  Body language can also be a clue.  Anxious teenagers tend to hold themselves in such a way as to make themselves smaller.  They literally make themselves shorter by scrunching down their posture and tend to cover themselves almost as in a defensive posture.  Think arms crossed over their chests and avoiding eye contact.  They don’t stand in ways that look assertive.  This may mean they don’t stand or walk with a confident air.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Anxious Behaviors</h2>



<p>Anxious teens often decline invitations to do things with new groups of kids or go to places they are unfamiliar with.&nbsp; They may say they are not interested in going to summer camps, joining activity based school clubs, or field trips because they get uncomfortable in situations where they don’t know what to expect or who they might have to interact with.&nbsp; Anxious teens often don’t like to be called on in school or singled out even in good ways. &nbsp;</p>



<p>Anxiety can be overcome with <a href="http://Boulder County Community Services Cultural Responsiveness and Inclusion team">counseling</a>.  The general strategy is to help the teen visualize what they will be doing differently when they are no longer anxious.  A counselor for an anxious teenager will help them develop a very detailed picture of themselves when they are more <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/counseling-for-teenagers/">confident</a> so they can see it themselves clearly in various real scenarios.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Next Steps</h2>



<p>The next step is to help them identify very small, but do-able, things they can start doing differently.  This could be, for example, choosing to walk more confidently into the school building one day, even if they don’t do anything else differently the rest of the day.  Then the counselor would build on this one thing and add another positive behavior to it.  Pretty soon, the anxious teenager is noticing other times when they were more confident.  They start seeing themselves gaining confidence and trying new things.  </p>



<p>If your have a child with teenage anxiety, counseling is a good idea.  It can help them overcome it more quickly and feel confident to try new things and gain new friends and experiences.  </p>



<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mi/grand-rapids/178001?sid=5f09d401b8b18&amp;ref=14&amp;rec_next=121&amp;tr=ResultsName"><em>Gary Watson</em></a><em> is a </em><a href="http://www.sfbta.org"><em>Solution Focused Therapist</em></a><em> in </em><a href="https://www.experiencegr.com"><em>Grand Rapids Michigan</em></a><em>.&nbsp; He provides counseling for couples, counseling for teenagers, and adults.&nbsp; He provides counseling for anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, and relationship problems.&nbsp; For more information, please visit the website at </em><a href="http://www.turnaboutcounseling.com"><em>www.turnaboutcounseling.com</em></a><em>.</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/anxiety/managing-teenage-anxiety/">Managing Teenage Anxiety</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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		<title>Counseling for Anxiety Using SFBT</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/building-self-esteem/counseling-for-anxiety-using-sfbt/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Mar 2021 01:21:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[building self-esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Teenagers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self confidence]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=422</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Counseling for Anxiety is one of the main things that therapists provide. So the good news is that if you have anxiety, you&#8217;re in good company. There are many different strategies that help with anxiety. Below, I will discuss one of the strategies. Anxiety as a Mental Construct Anxiety often comes about because of our [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/building-self-esteem/counseling-for-anxiety-using-sfbt/">Counseling for Anxiety Using SFBT</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-snapwire-6945-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-423" width="692" height="519" srcset="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-snapwire-6945-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-snapwire-6945-300x225.jpg 300w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-snapwire-6945-768x576.jpg 768w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-snapwire-6945-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-snapwire-6945-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-snapwire-6945-1200x900.jpg 1200w, https://turnaboutcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-snapwire-6945-1980x1485.jpg 1980w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 692px) 100vw, 692px" /><figcaption>Conquer anxiety one small change at a time.</figcaption></figure></div>



<p>Counseling for Anxiety is one of the main things that therapists provide.  So the good news is that if you have anxiety, you&#8217;re in good company.  There are many different strategies that help with anxiety.  Below, I will discuss one of the strategies.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Anxiety as a Mental Construct</h2>



<p>Anxiety often comes about because of our thought processes.  These negative thoughts then send signals to that part of our brain in charge of fight or flight.  This in turn can lead to physical symptoms of anxiety such as chills, hot flashes, shaking, etc.  Our brain picks up on an uncertainty or fear which can cause or increase the feelings of panic.</p>



<p>I work with a lot of clients who struggle with anxiety in my <a href="https://iheartgr.org">Grand Rapids, MI</a> office.  I work from a <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/about-gary/">solution focused therapy</a> approach which means rather than focus on what is causing the anxiety, I help you determine how you want to react to anxiety-provoking situations in the future.  </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">How to Reduce Anxiety:</h2>



<p>You can&#8217;t be relaxed and anxious at the same time.  We focus then on how to build up your confidence by starting with small changes.  When you&#8217;re confident, you&#8217;re relaxed.   I&#8217;ll have you think about and describe what you will look like when you are confident (rather than anxious).  I&#8217;ll ask you to describe how you will stand, sit, walk, etc.  Once you have this in mind, I&#8217;ll suggest you pick some opportune times to practice this.  It may be just when you walk into a classroom or your work place.  </p>



<p>Next we might talk about what other things you&#8217;ll be doing when you are a confident person.   Perhaps you have anxiety when you walk into a grocery store.  We&#8217;ll have you visualize what the smallest sign of confidence will be when you walk into the store.  For some, this might be nodding a greeting to the store greeter.  For others, it could be how they go up to the grocery carts and select one.  </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Starting Small to Overcome Panic Attacks</h2>



<p>We don&#8217;t try to stop your anxiety all at once.  In fact, we don&#8217;t worry about stopping it at all.  Instead we might have you focus on just noticing when your anxiety is less on some occasions.  We might focus some effort on having you predict how much your anxiety will decrease over time.  This can also help you focus more on the idea of it decreasing rather than worrying that your anxiety will increase.  </p>



<p>For example,  if you have to do public speaking in a class or for work, I may ask you to consider how you will notice that you were just a little bit less nervous the next time you have to speak.  You may notice that you started off being nervous, but calmed down and found your regular speaking voice a little bit sooner.  Focusing on these small but noticeable changes will help you keep going in the right direction.  </p>



<p>Counseling for Anxiety can be relatively painless.  It just takes some attention to the way you want to be instead.  If you live in the Grand Rapids, MI area and would like to try Solution Focused Counseling, then give me a call.  I&#8217;ll be glad to help.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/building-self-esteem/counseling-for-anxiety-using-sfbt/">Counseling for Anxiety Using SFBT</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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		<title>New Healthy Habits and Keep Them</title>
		<link>https://turnaboutcounseling.com/good-habits/new-healthy-habits-and-keep-them/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gary Watson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Mar 2021 17:14:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Good habits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Individual Counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy habits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://turnaboutcounseling.com/?p=418</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>We all have tried to start new healthy habits such as exercising more and many of us have trouble sticking to it. We start off well and then run out of steam. Here is one strategy for making it stick. First start out small. Don&#8217;t plan on suddenly working out for an hour a day, [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/good-habits/new-healthy-habits-and-keep-them/">New Healthy Habits and Keep Them</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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<p>We all have tried to start  new healthy habits such as exercising more and many of us have trouble sticking to it.  We start off well and then run out of steam.  Here is one strategy for making it stick.</p>



<p>First start out small.  Don&#8217;t plan on suddenly working out for an hour a day, five days a week if you haven&#8217;t been working out at all in the past few years.  Think small and build your way up.  If you want to start running 5 miles a day three days a week, think about starting this new healthy habit by walking a quarter mile a day, but make sure you start doing it on a regular basis.</p>



<h3 class="kt-adv-heading_901ca6-cc wp-block-kadence-advancedheading" data-kb-block="kb-adv-heading_901ca6-cc">Smart Way to Start New Healthy Habits</h3>



<p>Next, use what is called Habit Stacking.  The best success of initiating a new habit is by using time and place cues.  This means that if we mentally associate a habit with a particular time and place, we are more likely to do the habit.  If we start associating a new habit with a certain time and place, we will be triggered to perform the habit when we are in that time and location.  </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Stacking Habits</h2>



<p>Secondly, we all have certain things we do habitually everyday.  I wake up every morning and get out of bed.  I make coffee every morning,  and I brush my teeth every morning.  If you want to start a new habit, attach it, or stack it, onto one of these habits.  For example, I&#8217;ve started a new habit where every morning after I get out of bed, I immediately hit the floor and do sit-ups and push ups.  This is a small healthy habit that will gradually lead to bigger healthy habits.  My goal is to begin working out every morning before work.  I stacked the new habit to an existing habit (getting out of bed).  I started small with only a couple of exercises&#8211;sit ups and push ups.</p>



<p>Lately, I notice that if something happens to disrupt this new healthy habit routine, I feel weird that I didn&#8217;t do it, and feel compelled to do it right then.  This is the formation of a habit.  It involves a cue (getting out of bed), the habit itself (exercise), and a reward (feeling good that I did something healthy).</p>



<p>If you want to start a new healthy habit, try this technique</p>



<p>For more information about creating and keeping healthy habits, <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/contact/">contact me</a>.</p>



<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mi/grand-rapids/178001?sid=5f09d401b8b18&amp;ref=14&amp;rec_next=121&amp;tr=ResultsName"><em>Gary Watson</em></a><em> is a </em><a href="http://www.sfbta.org"><em>Solution Focused Therapist</em></a><em> in </em><a href="https://www.experiencegr.com"><em>Grand Rapids Michigan</em></a><em>.  He provides counseling for couples, counseling for teenagers, and adults.  He provides counseling for anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, and relationship problems.  For more information, please visit the website at </em><a href="http://www.turnaboutcounseling.com"><em>www.turnaboutcounseling.com</em></a><em>.</em></p>



<p></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com/good-habits/new-healthy-habits-and-keep-them/">New Healthy Habits and Keep Them</a> appeared first on <a href="https://turnaboutcounseling.com">Turnabout Counseling</a>.</p>
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