In doing marriage counseling, or relationship counseling, one of the things I often do is ask the “miracle question”. This question is designed to have the couple think about how they would first notice a miracle has happened if the miracle is that their relationship is fixed overnight while they sleep.
About 99% of couples I work with answer this question with simple things such as, “He would wake up and say “good morning”, or she would hug me when she wakes up, or he would give me a smile and a kiss good morning.
When I ask them whether this would make a big difference in their day or a small difference, almost everyone says these things would make a big difference to them. So image what you can do for your relationship just by starting off your day with such a small but meaningful gesture. I had one woman say that she would love it if her husband would seem as happy to see her after work as he is to see the dog. Imagine just coming in the door when you get home and greeting your spouse with a smile, a greeting, and some genuine affection.
The questions a therapist will ask you in relationship counseling can be helpful in reminding you of the small things you used to do to make your spouse feel special, appreciated, and valued. Having the third person asking these questions slows things down enough so that you can answer these questions and have your spouse really listen to your answer and take it in. If you’ve been worried about your relationship lately, relationship counseling may be right for you. For more information about Gary Watson or Solution Focused Counseling, please give Gary a call at 616-914-9874, or go to his website at email@example.com.
Gary Watson is a solution-focused therapist who provides marriage counseling, counseling for individuals, and counseling for teenagers in Grand Rapids, Michigan.