Here’s a snippet of advice about helping in building kids’ confidence. Although Nick, in this video, is talking about sons, the advice is also true for daughters. Let kids help you do things that are worth doing; things they consider adult tasks. Then either teach them or trust them to figure it out themselves. But, let them know you have faith that they can do it. Then compliment them for getting the job done.
I get young clients who question their worth who weren’t taught the things young men and women need to learn. This can be things like fixing things around the house, cooking, mowing the lawn, maintaining cars, etc. If you have skills, pass them along to your kids. Many parents want to spare their children from these chores for some reason. Perhaps it’s to let them enjoy being kids a little longer. When these kids reach adulthood, they feel unprepared for adulting. They feel they are trying to learn to be adults without the manual. And they develop confidence issues.
How It Works
One thing I do with my son lately, (and I stole the words from Nick Freitas), is to give him a job to do that he has to figure out on his own. I’ll leave him with the words, “I look forward to complimenting you on your success, or punishing you for your incompetence”. It’s a joke but I’m letting him know I expect it to get done; and that I have confidence in his abilities to figure out how to do it. I make sure it’s a task that takes some thinking so he struggles a bit, but not so hard that he won’t figure it out. It works great. He comes back with new confidence and pride in his new acquired abilities.
If you want to keep building kids’ confidence, ask them to help you around the house more. Give them jobs that are worth doing. They will probably complain at first, but feel confident afterward.
Gary Watson is a Solution Focused Therapist in Grand Rapids Michigan and Ada, Michigan. He provides counseling for couples, counseling for teenagers, and adults. He can help with anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, relationship problems, and more. For more information, please visit the website at www.turnaboutcounseling.com.