Getting Your Marriage or Relationship Back on Track
Marriage and relationships can be one of our greatest joys and greatest sources of stress. Keeping a marriage going strong takes effort and work. If your relationship is in trouble or needs a tune-up, Solution Focused Counseling can help.
I counsel couples who are struggling with:
- Loss of affection, connection “feeling like roommates”
- Parenting issues
- Blended Family issues
- Trust issues
- and more…
The reason Solution Focused Therapy works well in marriage counseling is that it focuses on talking about what positive changes you want to make in your marriage or relationship. One person won’t feel blamed and shamed for creating a problem. One person won’t feel ganged up on by the therapist and their spouse.
We talk about how to strengthen the relationship itself. This means both people get to talk about the things they would like to see happening in the future so they can say the relationship is healthy and good for them. By focusing on the positive changes you both want to make, we avoid going back in time, trying to figure out how and why the problem got started and who is to blame. By focusing on your future, we keep both people engaged in the work and no one “checks out” because they are feeling blamed for the problems.
Can’t Get Your Spouse to Come to Counseling?
Sometimes, spouses can be stubborn or nervous about trying marriage counseling, but you may still want to try it to see if there is something you can do to fix things. This can work, especially if you know your spouse well enough to be able to take a good guess about what they would want to change in order to say the marriage is better. Many people want to be able to stay they tried everything within their power to save their marriage, even if their partner decides to end things.
Need to Decide if You Even Want to Stay Married First?
Some people realize they need to decide if they really want to be married at all before they try marriage counseling. This is a big decision and weighing the pros and cons can be exhausting. For many people, the decision not only impacts them but their children and families as well, so before making such a big decision they want to gain some clarity about which direction is best to go. Counseling can be helpful in this regard as well. For those who determine they want to continue working on their relationship, they can then proceed to marriage counseling with their spouse, if they choose.