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building self-esteem Children Individual Counseling Teenagers

Self-Confidence from Competence

I counsel a lot of teenagers and young adults who suffer from low self-confidence. One thing that sometimes happens is they find themselves staying in relationships that aren’t working because they allow their self-worth to be dictated by being in a relationship, or by being valued by their friends, rather than valuing themselves independently for […]

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communication Marriage Counseling Mental Health Relationships

What Does Kindness Mean Anyway?

I recently came across a sign someone put in their yard that said, “KINDNESS ALWAYS”.  At first I didn’t think much of it, but then I began pondering what the person who bought it might mean by it.  Then I considered what it means to me to “be kind”. I suspect most people think “kindness […]

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anxiety building self-esteem depression Good habits Mental Health mental healtj

Effort Matters in Mental Health

Putting in effort matters in your mental health. Whether you have anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, or something else. To feel good about yourself, about who you are, or where you are going, put in real effort. I counsel people who are dissatisfied their jobs, social situation, relationships, or maybe their body or personalities. […]

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Some Input from James Clear, Author of “Atomic Habits”

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Counseling for Grief

I’ve provided counseling for grief issues many times in my career as a therapist.  Typical grief is related to someone we care about passing away.  But there are other types of grief that people have to deal with as well.  This could be considered more of a loss than a death.  This could be due […]

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What is Solution Focused Counseling?

Solution Focused Counseling, also known as Solution Focused Brief Therapy, is a form of cognitive therapy.  The focus is on helping you figure out what positive changes you want to make in your life that will lead to better functioning, success, better relationships, and  better health.  Unlike many other forms of counseling, it does not […]

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anxiety building self-esteem communication counseling for employee

How to Say “No” When You Need To.

I’ve counseled a number of newer clients lately who are getting overwhelmed at home and work because they don’t know how to say “no” very easily.  It’s usually people who are high on the Agreeableness personality trait that have the hardest time saying no.  In other words they say “Yes” when they need to say […]

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communication Marriage Counseling Relationships

I have to Work With This Person

When I work with couples, I often ask them how they would deal with the same situation they are having with their spouse if it was a coworker instead.  We have a tendency to be more kind, patient and diplomatic when addressing problems with our coworkers.  We tend to think, “I have to work with […]

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Pre-Irritation Syndrome

Okay, this is just a word I came up with, but it still fits.  It’s when you spend time a lot of time being irritated at your partner based on past encounters so that whenever they try to talk to you, you automatically assume they’re going to annoy you.  When this happens, it makes getting […]

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Good habits

You Can’t Exercise Your Way Out of a Bad Diet

I’m not sure whose quote this is, but obviously someone in good shape.  But it makes perfect sense.  If you do some checking about how many calories you can burn doing any particular exercise, it doesn’t really amount to many calories if you’re trying to lose weight. For example, if you walk for an hour, […]