Categories
building self-esteem Good habits Mental Health

Success over Failure

Success leads to more success. When possible, focus on what you’re doing right, and less on what you’re doing wrong. Focusing on your successes builds your confidence to keep going and keep trying. Focusing on your failures will demotivate you and may even lead to depression. But of course, be realistic; be honest. An Example […]

Categories
anxiety building self-esteem depression Good habits Mental Health mental healtj

Effort Matters in Mental Health

Putting in effort matters in your mental health. Whether you have anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, or something else. To feel good about yourself, about who you are, or where you are going, put in real effort. I counsel people who are dissatisfied their jobs, social situation, relationships, or maybe their body or personalities. […]

Categories
anxiety building self-esteem communication counseling for employee

How to Say “No” When You Need To.

I’ve counseled a number of newer clients lately who are getting overwhelmed at home and work because they don’t know how to say “no” very easily.  It’s usually people who are high on the Agreeableness personality trait that have the hardest time saying no.  In other words they say “Yes” when they need to say […]

Categories
building self-esteem Good habits

Trick Your Brain Into Doing the Hard Stuff

Many of my clients, especially the younger ones get frustrated because they have things they want to accomplish, but they have trouble getting themselves to start.  They want to exercise more, but can’t get themselves to the gym.  They want to study more but can’t get themselves to open their books.  They want to socialize […]

Categories
building self-esteem counseling for men depression Identity Relationships Teenagers

Dealing with Mistakes and Criticism

How do you deal with mistakes and the criticism that follows?  My son had a situation in a soccer game last week where he made a mistake and got called out for it by his teammates.  He was feeling embarrassed and angry.  It was tempting to tell him the other kids were just being jerks […]

Categories
building self-esteem Children Teenagers

Teenage Behavior Problems

Dealing with teenage behavior problems can be very taxing for both you and your teen.  There comes a point in teenager’s lives where they need to learn to be independent from parents and act like adults.  Unfortunately, they can be terrible at it.  Most teenagers seem to start this by deciding to be rebellious.  This […]

Categories
building self-esteem Good habits Individual Counseling

Start a New Habit by Changing Your Environment

Many of us try to start a new habit for New’s Year’s resolutions. We resolve to exercise more, eat right, lose weight, and so on. Right about now is when most people abandon them. I’m probably one of the only successful people who have kept their resolution for years. About 25 years ago I made […]

Categories
building self-esteem Good habits Individual Counseling social anxiety

Big Changes Start Small: The Scaling Question

Big changes start small. This is what I learned from behavioral theory. There is a lot of overlap between effective behavioral change and Solution Focused Brief Therapy.  Steve deShazer, co-creator of SFBT said he doesn’t know why SFBT works, he just knows it does.  After studying work about behaviorism and developing habits, I put together […]

Categories
building self-esteem Identity

How to Change Your Identity

In solution focused counseling, we usually start with a deceptively simple question, “ What do you want to see change as a result of counseling?”  In a big sense, we’re really asking, “how do you want to change your identity?”  Or put another way, how do you want to change how you view yourself so […]

Categories
building self-esteem communication Individual Counseling Parenting Relationships

Getting Respect From Others

Getting Respect from others is something everybody strives for.  We want to be respected for what we bring to the table. Or we at least want to be treated with respect and courtesy.  You have to give in order to receive, but what do you do if you don’t get respect in return. People Engage […]