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building self-esteem counseling for men depression Identity Relationships Teenagers

Dealing with Mistakes and Criticism

How do you deal with mistakes and the criticism that follows?  My son had a situation in a soccer game last week where he made a mistake and got called out for it by his teammates.  He was feeling embarrassed and angry.  It was tempting to tell him the other kids were just being jerks […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

4 Things That Bug Women About Men

After providing marriage counseling in Grand Rapids for the past ten years, I’ve noticed a trend in things women find lacking in relationships.  Below are four of the things that bug women I encounter during counseling.  These are things their husbands or long term boyfriends tend to neglect.  If you can get back to doing […]

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communication counseling for men Marriage Counseling Relationships

5 Things To Stop Doing to Your Husband:

I often provide counseling for men and women individually. I get to hear a lot of their concerns and complaints about what happens when their relationships go sour. Both sexes seem to have their own set of grievances. And in my counseling for men, there are some things that come up quite frequently. Here are […]

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building self-esteem communication Individual Counseling Parenting Relationships

Getting Respect From Others

Getting Respect from others is something everybody strives for.  We want to be respected for what we bring to the table. Or we at least want to be treated with respect and courtesy.  You have to give in order to receive, but what do you do if you don’t get respect in return. People Engage […]

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communication Marriage Counseling Relationships Uncategorized

Communication In Marriage: Remind Them to do What They Promised

Communication in marriage is a keystone necessity. Good communication with your spouse is an essential tool for staying connected and resolving problems so they don’t take over your marriage. I was meeting with a couple today for marriage counseling and they told me a story that I thought had an amazingly good strategy. They gave […]

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communication Marriage Counseling Relationships

Improving Communication: Win the Argument:

Okay, kind of a misleading title because if you set out to “win” an argument you aren’t likely to get very far. I’ve seen a lot of arguments lately on facebook and other places. People take a side on an issue and take the stance that anyone who disagrees with them is just plain wrong. […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: “He’d say Goodmorning”

When doing marriage counseling, one thing I do is ask the “miracle question”. This question helps you think about how you will first notice a miracle has happened, if the miracle is that your relationship is fixed overnight while you sleep. It helps you think about what positive changes you want in your relationship and […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

I use Solution Focused Marriage counseling when providing couples counseling. Many of the clients I see for marriage counseling have a similar problem.  You started off well and your relationship was solid.  But then you had kids and things seemed to change.  You found yourselves getting distant from each other and not spending as much […]

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Individual Counseling Relationships

Self-Esteem and Why I Hate This Sign

Building legitimate self-esteem takes time and effort and this sign is basically a lie. It’s what I call “blowing sunshine”. You’re not important, special, amazing, or extraordinary merely by walking into a room. No more than you are a professional athlete merely by walking into a gym. The good news is that you CAN be […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Effective Communication in Marriage

The basics Effective communication in marriage is one of the most important things to figure out, and one of the hardest to do consistently. When couples have trouble communicating during conflict, this can be one of the most frustrating of events. In marriage counseling, one of the tasks the marriage counselor takes on is helping […]