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communication Marriage Counseling Relationships Uncategorized

Communication In Marriage: Remind Them to do What They Promised

Communication in marriage is a keystone necessity. Good communication with your spouse is an essential tool for staying connected and resolving problems so they don’t take over your marriage. I was meeting with a couple today for marriage counseling and they told me a story that I thought had an amazingly good strategy. They gave […]

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communication Marriage Counseling Relationships

Improving Communication: Win the Argument:

Okay, kind of a misleading title because if you set out to “win” an argument you aren’t likely to get very far. I’ve seen a lot of arguments lately on facebook and other places. People take a side on an issue and take the stance that anyone who disagrees with them is just plain wrong. […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: “He’d say Goodmorning”

When doing marriage counseling, one thing I do is ask the “miracle question”. This question helps you think about how you will first notice a miracle has happened, if the miracle is that your relationship is fixed overnight while you sleep. It helps you think about what positive changes you want in your relationship and […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

I use Solution Focused Marriage counseling when providing couples counseling. Many of the clients I see for marriage counseling have a similar problem.  You started off well and your relationship was solid.  But then you had kids and things seemed to change.  You found yourselves getting distant from each other and not spending as much […]

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Individual Counseling Relationships

Self-Esteem and Why I Hate This Sign

Building legitimate self-esteem takes time and effort and this sign is basically a lie. It’s what I call “blowing sunshine”. You’re not important, special, amazing, or extraordinary merely by walking into a room. No more than you are a professional athlete merely by walking into a gym. The good news is that you CAN be […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Effective Communication in Marriage

The basics Effective communication in marriage is one of the most important things to figure out, and one of the hardest to do consistently. When couples have trouble communicating during conflict, this can be one of the most frustrating of events. In marriage counseling, one of the tasks the marriage counselor takes on is helping […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

A husband’s take on Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

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Individual Counseling Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: The Art of Apologizing

I see a lot of couples for marriage counseling, and one of the top requests is to get help with communication. Apologizing is a necessary part of effective communication. What often happens is that communication breaks down even before a conversation starts. This can happen because your spouse has an idea of how you’re going […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: The 6 to 1 Ratio

One thing that often comes up in marriage counseling is the idea of having a successful argument where you give your spouse constructive criticism. When living together, problems will arise but how do you talk about it without your partner shutting down? In my experience providing marriage counseling to various couples, the shutting down often […]

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Individual Counseling Relationships

Improve Self-esteem: Doubting your Doubts

While counseling a young man with a tendency toward self-doubt, we discussed how we tend to view events that occur to us through certain filters, which in turn affects our self-esteem. If you have low self confidence, you tend to dismiss genuine compliments from others as “just trying to be nice”or trying to make us […]