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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Relationship Counseling: “He’d say Goodmorning”

In doing marriage counseling, or relationship counseling, one of the things I often do is ask the “miracle question”. This question is designed to have the couple think about how they would first notice a miracle has happened if the miracle is that their relationship is fixed overnight while they sleep. About 99% of couples […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

I use Solution Focused Marriage counseling when providing couples counseling. Many of the clients I see for marriage counseling have a similar problem.  They started off well and their relationship was solid.  Then they had kids and things seemed to change.  They found themselves getting distant from each other, not spending as much quality time […]

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Individual Counseling Relationships

Why I Hate This Sign

This sign is basically a lie. It’s what I call “blowing sunshine”. You’re not important, special, amazing, or extraordinary merely by walking into a room. No more than you are a professional athlete merely by walking into a gym. The good news is that you CAN be important, amazing, and extraordinary if you’re willing to […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Effective Communication in Marriage

The basics Effective communication in marriage is one of the most important things to figure out, and one of the hardest to do consistently. When couples have trouble communicating during conflict, this can be one of the most frustrating of events. In marriage counseling, one of the tasks the marriage counselor may take on is […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

A husband’s take on Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

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Individual Counseling Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: The Art of Apologizing

In my Grand Rapids counseling office, I see a lot of couples for marriage counseling, and one of the top requests is to get help with communication. What often happens is that communication breaks down even before a conversation starts because your spouse has an idea of how you’re going to respond to them and […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: The 6 to 1 Ratio

One thing that often comes up in marriage counseling is the idea of having a successful disagreement. When you live together, things are bound to come up but how do you talk about it without the other person shutting down? In my experience providing marriage counseling to various couples, the shutting down often comes from […]

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Individual Counseling Relationships

Improve Self-esteem: Doubting your Doubts

While counseling a young man who has a tendency toward self-doubt, we were discussing how we tend to view events that occur to us through certain filters which in turn effects our self-esteem. If we tend to have lower self confidence in ourselves, we will tend to, for example, dismiss genuine compliments from others as […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

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Individual Counseling Marriage Counseling Parenting Relationships

Relationships: How Criticism Can Drive Someone Away

Below is an article written by a married woman who caught herself criticizing her husband over trivial things rather than focusing on his positive qualities. It was ruining her relationship. She realized her attitude toward him was causing him to feel unloved, unvalued, and basically treated like a child. In her case, her husband had […]