Categories
communication Marriage Counseling Relationships

Improving Communication: Win the Argument:

Okay, kind of a misleading title because if you set out to “win” an argument you aren’t likely to get very far. I’ve seen a lot of arguments lately on facebook and other places, where people take a side on an issue and take the stance that anyone who disagrees with them is just plain […]

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

Relationship Counseling: “He’d say Goodmorning”

In doing marriage counseling, or relationship counseling, one of the things I often do is ask the “miracle question”. This question is designed to have the couple think about how they would first notice a miracle has happened if the miracle is that their relationship is fixed overnight while they sleep. About 99% of couples […]

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

I use Solution Focused Marriage counseling when providing couples counseling. Many of the clients I see for marriage counseling have a similar problem.  They started off well and their relationship was solid.  Then they had kids and things seemed to change.  They found themselves getting distant from each other, not spending as much quality time […]

Categories
Parenting Teenagers

Counseling for Teenagers: Talking to Teenagers

When I was a school social worker, providing counseling for teenagers, I worked with young children, ages 5 to 8 years old. These were easy kids to work with because they liked seeing the social worker and enjoyed counseling. However, several years later, I began working with middle school and high school kids. This was […]

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

Effective Communication in Marriage

The basics Effective communication in marriage is one of the most important things to figure out, and one of the hardest to do consistently. When couples have trouble communicating during conflict, this can be one of the most frustrating of events. In marriage counseling, one of the tasks the marriage counselor may take on is […]

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

A husband’s take on Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

Categories
Individual Counseling Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: The Art of Apologizing

In my Grand Rapids counseling office, I see a lot of couples for marriage counseling, and one of the top requests is to get help with communication. What often happens is that communication breaks down even before a conversation starts because your spouse has an idea of how you’re going to respond to them and […]

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: The 6 to 1 Ratio

One thing that often comes up in marriage counseling is the idea of having a successful disagreement. When you live together, things are bound to come up but how do you talk about it without the other person shutting down? In my experience providing marriage counseling to various couples, the shutting down often comes from […]

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Counseling helps Marriages

When couples come to counseling to resolve marital issues, one thing they often hope for is that the therapist will be able to help the other person finally realize how wrong they have been and admit to it, then do things differently from now on. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work that way. I’ve rarely observed someone who […]