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building self-esteem Good habits Mental Health

Success over Failure

Success leads to more success. When possible, focus on what you’re doing right, and less on what you’re doing wrong. Focusing on your successes builds your confidence to keep going and keep trying. Focusing on your failures will demotivate you and may even lead to depression. But of course, be realistic; be honest. An Example […]

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anxiety building self-esteem depression Good habits Mental Health mental healtj

Effort Matters in Mental Health

Putting in effort matters in your mental health. Whether you have anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, or something else. To feel good about yourself, about who you are, or where you are going, put in real effort. I counsel people who are dissatisfied their jobs, social situation, relationships, or maybe their body or personalities. […]

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Good habits

You Can’t Exercise Your Way Out of a Bad Diet

I’m not sure whose quote this is, but obviously someone in good shape.  But it makes perfect sense.  If you do some checking about how many calories you can burn doing any particular exercise, it doesn’t really amount to many calories if you’re trying to lose weight. For example, if you walk for an hour, […]

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Good habits

People Change Best By Feeling Good, Not Bad

I counsel  lots of people who are trying to get other people to behave differently. This may be a parent who is trying to get their kids to behave better or do their chores.  It may be someone who is trying to get their spouse to treat them more with more respect.  It may also […]

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building self-esteem Good habits

Trick Your Brain Into Doing the Hard Stuff

Many of my clients, especially the younger ones get frustrated because they have things they want to accomplish, but they have trouble getting themselves to start.  They want to exercise more, but can’t get themselves to the gym.  They want to study more but can’t get themselves to open their books.  They want to socialize […]

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counseling for men Good habits

One Reason Therapy Fails

More often than I like to think about, counseling fails to help people. I have a few clients who come to counseling week after week, we talk about how to improve their lives, they agree heartily with the suggestions I make, then come back and nothing has changed. Did you try the suggestions when you […]

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Good habits

Build Good Habits with Decisive Moments

This time of year, many of us are trying to establish new healthy habits through New Year’s resolutions. One great way to do this is through “Decisive Moments”. We tend to focus on the activity that gets us the results we want, such as going to the gym three days a week. What is more […]

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Good habits

Change One Word to Change Your Motivation

We all struggle with getting motivated to do things we need to do but don’t really want to do. We say things like “I have to go to work”. I have to clean the house”, “I have to do my homework”. This takes something that is a necessary task and makes it somewhat more difficult […]

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building self-esteem Good habits Individual Counseling

Start a New Habit by Changing Your Environment

Many of us try to start a new habit for New’s Year’s resolutions. We resolve to exercise more, eat right, lose weight, and so on. Right about now is when most people abandon them. I’m probably one of the only successful people who have kept their resolution for years. About 25 years ago I made […]

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building self-esteem Good habits Individual Counseling social anxiety

Big Changes Start Small: The Scaling Question

Big changes start small. This is what I learned from behavioral theory. There is a lot of overlap between effective behavioral change and Solution Focused Brief Therapy.  Steve deShazer, co-creator of SFBT said he doesn’t know why SFBT works, he just knows it does.  After studying work about behaviorism and developing habits, I put together […]