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building self-esteem Good habits Teenagers

How You Do Anything is How You Do Everything

I just heard this saying the other day for the first time and it made me think about my own habits. The saying suggests to me that we all have a level of conscientiousness about how we approach things, from our jobs to relationships to keeping up our homes to parenting our kids. If someone […]

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Uncategorized

Manage Your Marriage Like an Effective Business

One way to keep your marriage running smoothly is to manage it like an effective, streamlined business. Learning from the Automobile Manufacturing System: A few years ago I listened to a radio program about problems that occurred in the 1970’s American car manufacturing industry. There were a lot of problems arising in the manufacturing industry […]

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building self-esteem Children Individual Counseling Teenagers

Self-Confidence from Competence

I counsel a lot of teenagers and young adults who suffer from low self-confidence. One thing that sometimes happens is they find themselves staying in relationships that aren’t working because they allow their self-worth to be dictated by being in a relationship, or by being valued by their friends, rather than valuing themselves independently for […]

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communication Marriage Counseling Relationships

Improving Communication: Win the Argument:

Okay, kind of a misleading title because if you set out to “win” an argument you aren’t likely to get very far. I’ve seen a lot of arguments lately on facebook and other places. People take a side on an issue and take the stance that anyone who disagrees with them is just plain wrong. […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: “He’d say Goodmorning”

When doing marriage counseling, one thing I do is ask the “miracle question”. This question helps you think about how you will first notice a miracle has happened, if the miracle is that your relationship is fixed overnight while you sleep. It helps you think about what positive changes you want in your relationship and […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

I use Solution Focused Marriage counseling when providing couples counseling. Many of the clients I see for marriage counseling have a similar problem.  You started off well and your relationship was solid.  But then you had kids and things seemed to change.  You found yourselves getting distant from each other and not spending as much […]

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Parenting Teenagers

Talking to Teenagers

Talking to teenagers effectively is a critical skill when guiding them make healthy decisions for themselves. When I was a school social worker, providing counseling for teenagers, I worked with young children, ages 5 to 8 years old. These were easy kids to work with because they liked seeing the social worker and enjoyed counseling. […]

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Individual Counseling Relationships

Self-Esteem and Why I Hate This Sign

Building legitimate self-esteem takes time and effort and this sign is basically a lie. It’s what I call “blowing sunshine”. You’re not important, special, amazing, or extraordinary merely by walking into a room. No more than you are a professional athlete merely by walking into a gym. The good news is that you CAN be […]

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Parenting

Parenting Skills: Teach them to Be Safe

Most parents spend a fair amount of time wondering if their parenting skills are the right ones. I tend to be a protective parent, trying to make sure I keep my young son out of harm’s way and protect him from harmful people.  However, when he went to  a week long summer camp this month, […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Effective Communication in Marriage

The basics Effective communication in marriage is one of the most important things to figure out, and one of the hardest to do consistently. When couples have trouble communicating during conflict, this can be one of the most frustrating of events. In marriage counseling, one of the tasks the marriage counselor takes on is helping […]