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Individual Counseling Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: The Art of Apologizing

I see a lot of couples for marriage counseling, and one of the top requests is to get help with communication. Apologizing is a necessary part of effective communication. What often happens is that communication breaks down even before a conversation starts. This can happen because your spouse has an idea of how you’re going […]

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Teenagers

Counseling for Teenagers using SFBT

Talking to teenagers can be a challenge because of what we think of as teenage resistance. One of my first jobs was as a case manager for families and children. At the time, I worried about doing counseling with teenagers because I thought they were rude, disrespectful, and walked around with giant chips on their […]

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Children Teenagers

ADHD versus Asperger’s Syndrome in Children

ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome are two common disorders that are usually first diagnosed during childhood. They can appear very similar in their symptoms but have different causes and different treatments. Symptoms of ADHD While many children are diagnosed with ADHD in childhood, quite often Aspergers Syndrome is mistaken for ADHD at first. The APA in […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: The 6 to 1 Ratio

One thing that often comes up in marriage counseling is the idea of having a successful argument where you give your spouse constructive criticism. When living together, problems will arise but how do you talk about it without your partner shutting down? In my experience providing marriage counseling to various couples, the shutting down often […]

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Children Parenting Teenagers

Discipline for Teenagers: Get Teens to Listen

This is a Love and Logic strategy I incorporate in counseling for teenagers and helping parents use discipline for teenagers. If you’re not familiar with Love and Logic, do a google search and you’ll find tons of books and videos available. Teenagers have a tendency to screw up and do things they shouldn’t or fail to do […]

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Individual Counseling Relationships

Improve Self-esteem: Doubting your Doubts

While counseling a young man with a tendency toward self-doubt, we discussed how we tend to view events that occur to us through certain filters, which in turn affects our self-esteem. If you have low self confidence, you tend to dismiss genuine compliments from others as “just trying to be nice”or trying to make us […]

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Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

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Individual Counseling Marriage Counseling Parenting Relationships

Relationships: How Criticism Can Drive Someone Away

Below is an article written by a married woman who caught herself criticizing her husband over trivial things rather than focusing on his positive qualities. It was ruining her relationship. She realized her attitude toward him was causing him to feel unloved, unvalued, and basically treated like a child. In her case, her husband had […]

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Individual Counseling

Counseling for Life Stress: Taking Detours

When I counsel people in my Grand Rapids office, they often make progress for a time, then have a day or two when things don’t go as planned. Life stress gets in the way temporarily. For some, they view these momentary setbacks as some kind of failure, or proof that they “always” screw things up. We […]

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building self-esteem Children Individual Counseling Teenagers

Counseling for self esteem: “I tried it on and it fit”

As a counselor for teenagers and college students, I often see clients who struggle with personal identity. They need counseling for self-esteem and to develop a personal sense of identify. High school students, college students, and young adults often have trouble figuring out who they are and exactly how they should navigate their world. This […]