When doing marriage counseling, one thing I do is ask the “miracle question”. This question helps you think about how you will first notice a miracle has happened, if the miracle is that your relationship is fixed overnight while you sleep. It helps you think about what positive changes you want in your relationship and […]
I use Solution Focused Marriage counseling when providing couples counseling. Many of the clients I see for marriage counseling have a similar problem. You started off well and your relationship was solid. But then you had kids and things seemed to change. You found yourselves getting distant from each other and not spending as much […]
Talking to teenagers effectively is a critical skill when guiding them make healthy decisions for themselves. When I was a school social worker, providing counseling for teenagers, I worked with young children, ages 5 to 8 years old. These were easy kids to work with because they liked seeing the social worker and enjoyed counseling. […]
Building legitimate self-esteem takes time and effort and this sign is basically a lie. It’s what I call “blowing sunshine”. You’re not important, special, amazing, or extraordinary merely by walking into a room. No more than you are a professional athlete merely by walking into a gym. The good news is that you CAN be […]
Categories
Parenting Skills: Teach them to Be Safe
Most parents spend a fair amount of time wondering if their parenting skills are the right ones. I tend to be a protective parent, trying to make sure I keep my young son out of harm’s way and protect him from harmful people. However, when he went to a week long summer camp this month, […]
The basics Effective communication in marriage is one of the most important things to figure out, and one of the hardest to do consistently. When couples have trouble communicating during conflict, this can be one of the most frustrating of events. In marriage counseling, one of the tasks the marriage counselor takes on is helping […]
Categories
Parenting Strategies for Young Kids
In my Grand Rapids counseling office, I counsel lots of parents who want to develop moreeffective discipline and parenting strategies. One of the simplest strategies that works well for parenting young kids is the 1-2-3 Magic program designed by Dr. Thomas Phelan. I have used it with my own son and have recommended it to hundreds of […]
I see a lot of couples for marriage counseling, and one of the top requests is to get help with communication. Apologizing is a necessary part of effective communication. What often happens is that communication breaks down even before a conversation starts. This can happen because your spouse has an idea of how you’re going […]
Categories
Counseling for Teenagers using SFBT
Talking to teenagers can be a challenge because of what we think of as teenage resistance. One of my first jobs was as a case manager for families and children. At the time, I worried about doing counseling with teenagers because I thought they were rude, disrespectful, and walked around with giant chips on their […]