Being a man can make it hard to find a counselor. Actually being a man can make it hard to think counseling can be useful. First of all, the counseling field is mostly women these days so finding a male counselor you can relate to can be tough. Second of all, the counseling field is filled with people who think men should behave and think like women. Even the American Psychiatric Association has published guidelines for counselors to help boys and men be less “toxic”. It’s (pardon the word) crazy.
In my experience, most men are okay with counseling if it’s goal driven and it’s going somewhere. We don’t want to sit and talk about our feelings just for the sake of talking about them. That doesn’t change anything. When men go to counseling, they want to leave with ideas for something to try or do differently that will improve their situation. As a result, when their situation improves, they feel better. Problem solved.
So What Does Work for Men?
That’s why Solution Focused Counseling works well for men. Because it has the feel of coaching rather than counseling. It’s goal driven and focuses on helping you figure out what to do about a problem, instead of just talking about it.
Solution focused counseling gets to work right away by helping you define what changes you want to make and why. Then, it helps you figure out small but do-able action steps you can take to start making the changes you want to make. Usually you leave each session with something specific to do or try. A solution focused therapist stays focused on your future success, not your past mistakes.
Gary Watson is a Solution Focused Therapist in Grand Rapids Michigan. He provides counseling for couples, teenagers, and adults. He can help with anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, relationship problems, and more. For more information, please visit the website at www.turnaboutcounseling.com.