I listened to a podcast this morning about being needed. It described how people who don’t feel useful often get depressed. This can even lead to suicide or early death for some. For example, when men retire and don’t have enough to do, they often lose their sense of purpose. Their health sometimes suffers as a result. For some people, if they don’t feel they matter to someone, they wonder “would anyone even notice if I wasn’t around anymore?”.
Where Else Does It Apply?
I had a conversation with a highschool coach about handling kids that would normally sit the bench during most games. My opinion is it’s better to cut a player than put them on the team and not let them play in games. I’ve seen kids lose their passion for the game when this happens faster than if they were cut. He agreed. When he coaches, he looks at what each kid is skilled at, even if small compared to other players. This coach finds a way to bring out that skill in players and consider when he’s going to need it during a game. He would make a point to help the player develop their particular skill and put them in when it was needed. This helps the player have a sense of purpose. And it helps the team overall. It also helps build team cohesion.
Need for Purpose and Parenting
All this made me wonder if parents could do the same thing with kids. What if we make each kid aware they serve a useful purpose within the family so they feel needed. This could be something like certain chores, taking care of pets, babysitting, running errands, and so on.
Gary Watson provides Solution Focused Therapist in Grand Rapids Michigan and Ada, Michigan. He counsels couples, teenagers, and adults. He can help with anxiety, depression, stress, college and work stress, relationship problems, and more. For more information, please visit the website at www.turnaboutcounseling.com.