Categories
Marriage Counseling

Interrupting and Publicly Correcting: Early Signs of Disrespect

Healthy relationships require more than just love—they need respect, healthy boundaries, and mutual understanding. Sometimes, seemingly small behaviors, like interrupting, publicly correcting, or speaking over a partner, may signal early signs of disrespect. If left unaddressed, these behaviors can erode trust, breed resentment, and harm a relationship over time. Here’s why these actions matter and […]

Categories
communication Marriage Counseling Mental Health Relationships

What Does Kindness Mean Anyway?

I recently came across a sign someone put in their yard that said, “KINDNESS ALWAYS”.  At first I didn’t think much of it, but then I began pondering what the person who bought it might mean by it.  Then I considered what it means to me to “be kind”. I suspect most people think “kindness […]

Categories
communication Marriage Counseling Relationships

I have to Work With This Person

When I work with couples, I often ask them how they would deal with the same situation they are having with their spouse if it was a coworker instead.  We have a tendency to be more kind, patient and diplomatic when addressing problems with our coworkers.  We tend to think, “I have to work with […]

Categories
communication Marriage Counseling

Why I Tell Couples to Start Arguments

Quite often in my counseling practice, I tell my clients to do something that sounds counterintuitive.  I tell couples to start arguments.  However, I tell them to start an argument over something fun, such as which ice cream flavor is best.  I have them do these practice arguments using strategies we discuss in marriage counseling.  […]

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

4 Things That Bug Women About Men

After providing marriage counseling in Grand Rapids for the past ten years, I’ve noticed a trend in things women find lacking in relationships.  Below are four of the things that bug women I encounter during counseling.  These are things their husbands or long term boyfriends tend to neglect.  If you can get back to doing […]

Categories
communication counseling for men Marriage Counseling Relationships

5 Things To Stop Doing to Your Husband:

I often provide counseling for men and women individually. I get to hear a lot of their concerns and complaints about what happens when their relationships go sour. Both sexes seem to have their own set of grievances. And in my counseling for men, there are some things that come up quite frequently. Here are […]

Categories
communication Marriage Counseling Relationships Uncategorized

Communication In Marriage: Remind Them to do What They Promised

Communication in marriage is a keystone necessity. Good communication with your spouse is an essential tool for staying connected and resolving problems so they don’t take over your marriage. I was meeting with a couple today for marriage counseling and they told me a story that I thought had an amazingly good strategy. They gave […]

Categories
communication Marriage Counseling Relationships

Improving Communication: Win the Argument:

Okay, kind of a misleading title because if you set out to “win” an argument you aren’t likely to get very far. I’ve seen a lot of arguments lately on facebook and other places. People take a side on an issue and take the stance that anyone who disagrees with them is just plain wrong. […]

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

Marriage Counseling: “He’d say Goodmorning”

When doing marriage counseling, one thing I do is ask the “miracle question”. This question helps you think about how you will first notice a miracle has happened, if the miracle is that your relationship is fixed overnight while you sleep. It helps you think about what positive changes you want in your relationship and […]

Categories
Marriage Counseling Relationships

Solution Focused Marriage Counseling

I use Solution Focused Marriage counseling when providing couples counseling. Many of the clients I see for marriage counseling have a similar problem.  You started off well and your relationship was solid.  But then you had kids and things seemed to change.  You found yourselves getting distant from each other and not spending as much […]