I recently came across a sign someone put in their yard that said, “KINDNESS ALWAYS”. At first I didn’t think much of it, but then I began pondering what the person who bought it might mean by it. Then I considered what it means to me to “be kind”. I suspect most people think “kindness […]
Category: Relationships
When I work with couples, I often ask them how they would deal with the same situation they are having with their spouse if it was a coworker instead. We have a tendency to be more kind, patient and diplomatic when addressing problems with our coworkers. We tend to think, “I have to work with […]
Categories
ADHD and Clutter
Those of us with ADHD tend to be notorious about letting our homes get cluttered. We tend to get things out and not put them away. Living with us is can be like living with a human hurricane that leaves a mess in its wake. There’s a tendency to have times of concentrated energy and […]
How do you deal with mistakes and the criticism that follows? My son had a situation in a soccer game last week where he made a mistake and got called out for it by his teammates. He was feeling embarrassed and angry. It was tempting to tell him the other kids were just being jerks […]
After providing marriage counseling in Grand Rapids for the past ten years, I’ve noticed a trend in things women find lacking in relationships. Below are four of the things that bug women I encounter during counseling. These are things their husbands or long term boyfriends tend to neglect. If you can get back to doing […]
I often provide counseling for men and women individually. I get to hear a lot of their concerns and complaints about what happens when their relationships go sour. Both sexes seem to have their own set of grievances. And in my counseling for men, there are some things that come up quite frequently. Here are […]
Getting Respect from others is something everybody strives for. We want to be respected for what we bring to the table. Or we at least want to be treated with respect and courtesy. You have to give in order to receive, but what do you do if you don’t get respect in return. People Engage […]
Communication in marriage is a keystone necessity. Good communication with your spouse is an essential tool for staying connected and resolving problems so they don’t take over your marriage. I was meeting with a couple today for marriage counseling and they told me a story that I thought had an amazingly good strategy. They gave […]
Okay, kind of a misleading title because if you set out to “win” an argument you aren’t likely to get very far. I’ve seen a lot of arguments lately on facebook and other places. People take a side on an issue and take the stance that anyone who disagrees with them is just plain wrong. […]
When doing marriage counseling, one thing I do is ask the “miracle question”. This question helps you think about how you will first notice a miracle has happened, if the miracle is that your relationship is fixed overnight while you sleep. It helps you think about what positive changes you want in your relationship and […]