Success leads to more success. When possible, focus on what you’re doing right, and less on what you’re doing wrong. Focusing on your successes builds your confidence to keep going and keep trying. Focusing on your failures will demotivate you and may even lead to depression. But of course, be realistic; be honest. An Example […]
Category: building self-esteem
Putting in effort matters in your mental health. Whether you have anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, or something else. To feel good about yourself, about who you are, or where you are going, put in real effort. I counsel people who are dissatisfied their jobs, social situation, relationships, or maybe their body or personalities. […]
I’ve counseled a number of newer clients lately who are getting overwhelmed at home and work because they don’t know how to say “no” very easily. It’s usually people who are high on the Agreeableness personality trait that have the hardest time saying no. In other words they say “Yes” when they need to say […]
Many of my clients, especially the younger ones get frustrated because they have things they want to accomplish, but they have trouble getting themselves to start. They want to exercise more, but can’t get themselves to the gym. They want to study more but can’t get themselves to open their books. They want to socialize […]
How do you deal with mistakes and the criticism that follows? My son had a situation in a soccer game last week where he made a mistake and got called out for it by his teammates. He was feeling embarrassed and angry. It was tempting to tell him the other kids were just being jerks […]
Dealing with teenage behavior problems can be very taxing for both you and your teen. There comes a point in teenager’s lives where they need to learn to be independent from parents and act like adults. Unfortunately, they can be terrible at it. Most teenagers seem to start this by deciding to be rebellious. This […]
Many of us try to start a new habit for New’s Year’s resolutions. We resolve to exercise more, eat right, lose weight, and so on. Right about now is when most people abandon them. I’m probably one of the only successful people who have kept their resolution for years. About 25 years ago I made […]
Big changes start small. This is what I learned from behavioral theory. There is a lot of overlap between effective behavioral change and Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Steve deShazer, co-creator of SFBT said he doesn’t know why SFBT works, he just knows it does. After studying work about behaviorism and developing habits, I put together […]
In solution focused counseling, we usually start with a deceptively simple question, “ What do you want to see change as a result of counseling?” In a big sense, we’re really asking, “how do you want to change your identity?” Or put another way, how do you want to change how you view yourself so […]
Getting Respect from others is something everybody strives for. We want to be respected for what we bring to the table. Or we at least want to be treated with respect and courtesy. You have to give in order to receive, but what do you do if you don’t get respect in return. People Engage […]